Marked up: Rachel.
§ 01 · your reviewer
Aidana Bassenova
MS Technology Leadership · Brown · Manager @ SalamAir
Aidana Bassenova
MS Technology Leadership · Brown University · Manager, Business Transformation @ SalamAir
"Rachel — your shipping cadence is the headline, not your titles. I moved 'shipped 4 features in 9 weeks' to line 1 of every role. Lead with what you built, not what you managed. Cut 14 lines of filler. Apply with this version on Monday — I'd interview you."
Reply directly to this email if anything's unclear.
§ 02 · do these three first
- i.6 min to fix
Lead with shipping cadence, not titles
Move the bullet 'shipped 4 features in 9 weeks' to the first line of your most recent role. Recruiters scan the first bullet and stop there. Make it count.
- ii.9 min to fix
Replace 'managed' with action verbs
Seven bullets use 'managed.' Swap with: led, shipped, cut, grew, scoped, drove. Pick the one that's literally true. Concrete beats corporate.
- iii.12 min to fix
Add a 0→1 line to your summary
Your strongest signal is taking products from zero to launch under regulatory constraint. It's buried in line 11. Promote it to the 1-line summary at the top.
§ 03 · grade card
A
94 / 100
+ 32 vs. draft
§ 04 · line-by-line
Tap a row to expand the rewrite. We kept the structure of your CV, just fixed the verbs and added the numbers.
Summary+−
before
Aspiring product manager passionate about user-centric products
after
Product Manager focused on 0→1 consumer launches in regulated industries (fintech, health)
↳ Cut 'aspiring'. Specificity beats vibes.
Exp 1 · bullet 1+−
before
Managed a team of 6 to drive cross-functional synergy
after
Led a 6-person product+design pod that shipped 4 features in 9 weeks, growing weekly active users +22%
↳ Action verb, headcount, timeline, outcome.
Exp 1 · bullet 2+−
before
Worked on various features that improved user experience
after
Cut onboarding drop-off from 38% → 11% by rebuilding the permission flow with a 3-screen guided walkthrough
↳ Replace 'various' with the actual project. Numbers convince.
Exp 2 · bullet 3+−
before
Responsible for stakeholder communication and strategic alignment
after
Ran weekly review with 3 engineering leads + 2 designers; cut spec-to-ship time from 4 weeks to 11 days
↳ 'Responsible for' is a corporate fingerprint. Show the rhythm.
Projects+−
before
Built a side project using React and Firebase
after
Built and shipped Curlbox (Next.js, Supabase). 320 weekly active users, $1.2k MRR by month 4.
↳ Side projects sell you harder than coursework. Name them, version them, monetize them.
§ 05 · what's working, leave it alone
- Your 1-page format. Don't bloat to 2 pages; your story fits.
- Education section position (bottom, single line). Right call.
- The Hackathon win callout. Specific, recent, signals shipping.
- Plain DM Sans + 11pt body. ATS-safe and readable.
- No photo, no graphics, no skills-bar-charts. Keep it that way.